When someone is asking questions about my lifestyle, the one I get most often seems to be, “Isn't love about commitment?” People can't seem to fathom loving more than one person and still being committed to each one. First, let's breakdown the definition from Webster's Dictionary.
a: an act of committing to a charge or trust
2 a: an agreement or pledge to do something in the future; b: something pledged c: the state or an instance of being obligated or emotionally impelled
Where here does it say the commitments we carry in life or love have to be singular? This simply states you are making a vow, a promise. And when loving someone, you make your own commitment to that person…poly or mono. Now, if you choose to make a commitment to love only one…that is your choice and your vow to that person. Love is about commitment and so many other things. But a commitment is not specific. It only becomes specific when you make it so.
My commitment to my partner is a number of things. That I will love him in good times and in bad. That I will trust him. That I will communicate with him at all times. That I will be who I want to be and always be true to myself as well as to what we are together. The list of commitments I have with him go on and on. And yes, a lot of these commitments I can and will give to someone else that I love as well and so will he. But that doesn't mean that we have broken any trust or vow we have with each other or the other person or people we make them to.
Just like any Poly relationship, or any relationship for that matter, a commitment to someone is what you make of it. But, just like so many things in this world, committing to someone is something that falls under the realm of what society deems normal. But, because each person has their own version of commitment and love, never let anyone tell you that you are not being loyal to someone because you commit to more than one person. Commitments are promises kept, and if you are keeping those commitments you made with someone you love, you are being loyal to what you have made of your relationship.
We make a lot of commitments in our lives, and it puzzles and baffles me that the moment commitment is brought into an emotional relationship it must become singular. But again, this is based on today's standards of normal. Which leaves us asking again, what is normal? And who says anyone gets to put that definition or label anywhere?
