OBH 038: Dandies, Dildos, and Donuts – Our Better Half


The title of our show begins with dandies, a term used in the late 19th century referring to men wearing women’s or effeminate clothing.  Most of Oscar Wilde’s male protagonists were considered dandies and some of them were also gay.  We think the term is similar to the term, metrosexual.  And we connected this to Jane’s latest research on older adults in same-sex relationships countering previous misconceptions about older LGBTQ adults and their sexual satisfaction.  Not only is there very little research about this population, the research that does exist problematizes their sexual lives.  If you’d like to learn more about her research, just click here or go to Jane’s website to learn more about it.

We also talked about dildos and other sex toys for older adults.  Ashley talked about dildos as a great way to experience sexuality both solo through masturbation and as a couple.  As you age, your toy needs might change because of vaginal atrophy, arthritis, or erectile issues.  Sleeves, cock rings, and vibrators are widely available and there are a few companies beginning to address older adults’ needs.  She also mentioned one of our favorite TV series, Frankie and Grace, and their new vibrator for older women.  If you’re interested in more on this topic of toys for older adults, take a look at Joan Price’s book Naked at Our Age: Talking Out Loud About Senior Sex.  You can order any of Joan’s books here.

And speaking of donuts, Jane talked about the coverage gap in Medicare Part D, often referred to as the donut hole.  The donut hole is a temporary limit on what the drug plan will cover for drugs.  The coverage gap begins after you and your drug plan have spent a certain amount for covered prescription drugs.  If you’d like to find the best Medicare Part D plan, click here.  She then covered her favorite victory of the past few weeks.  When House Speaker Paul Ryan pulled the “Ryancare” (or Obamalite) from the House floor just minutes before it was destined to be defeated, Jane cited the overwhelming resistance voiced by thousands of Americans who called, emailed, wrote, spoke out at Town Meetings, and attended rallies to voice their discontent with repealing Obamacare and possible replacements.

We love our listeners and welcome your feedback.  Please write to us at this address.  And thanks for listening!


About Author

A 50-something married mom starts asking questions about sex after 50 and laughs along with the answers. Modern love for classic bodies! Visit the podcast website for details and show notes: www.ourbetterhalf.net

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