I'm Dylan, you might remember me from such podcasts as “Life on the Swingset, Episode One” and… well that's really it.
On that first show I believe we hit you with a new term, “compersion”. We didn't hit on it too much, though we'll discuss it in future shows, but I think it deserves a short explanation. Cooper described it as “… the opposite of jealousy” in the podcast. I understand it as the enjoyment of watching someone you love experience pleasure with someone else.
I'm not defining compersion by talking about the sexual kind of enjoyment of watching someone you love experience pleasure with someone else (though I tell you… there's plenty of that here), I mean just good old-fashioned satisfaction and contentment knowing that … someone you love is having a great time.
I had an opportunity to really experience it this weekend, we met up with a pair of couples. One couple wanted to play amongst themselves, the other couple we'd played with before… well, the last time we met I played with the -very cute- young woman, but my wife Tonia was dealing with her monthly cycle and didn't want to bring that into a sexual situation with a new partner… or anyone else really.
Note: I am a proud owner of a shiny pair of red wings.
But since the woman and I played last time, I kind of wanted to pay the favor, the trust they showed in us forward just a little bit. (Trust that I wasn't just taking them for his wife and we'd part ways without being mutually satisfied.) Tonia is/was definitely interested in the male partner who she describes as having a little bit of a grunge, rock star look, and she definitely liked the female partner, so I signaled a “you two should go grab him and go” play and watched her squirm a bit.
This was the “good kind ” of squirm.
Soooo… while Tonia was out of the room I mentioned in the least veiled way possible that Tonia wanted the two of them and that when she got back they should go go go! I felt like a little in your face laying down of the cards was a good play, and it was. The three of them left to a bedroom and had a fantastic time. All the while I sat and chatted with the other couple who had a good time, and I'm sure had some plans for later in the night.
Eventually everyone said goodbye and parted ways, and I hadn't been intimate with anyone. But you know what, Tonia had a fantastic night. The couple Tonia played with had a great time. I was satisfied. That's compersion.
I'd made sure to pay forward a little faith by prodding just enough to get the three of them to play together, and facilitated a very good threesome. (You know it's good when you get a text message later in the night saying, “I smell like Tonia” from the female partner)
So, that's really all. I had a great night even without directly participating. 🙂