Cooper’s Safer Sex Kit – Condoms & Dental Dams & Gloves & Alcohol Swabs

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safer-sex-kit-06I've mentioned my safer sex kit extensively over the years, and the kit itself has ballooned in that time. I'll be the first to admit that my definition of safer sex (earlier “safe sex”) has changed since the moment I started carrying one. (And even moreso now that we've been calling it “Risk Aware Sex“)

In the beginning, it was a small tin from Durex with three condoms in it. Knowing that I was really never one to go more than twice, the third condom was a backup in case of issues, and emergency provisions should I get a Herculean urge. This was still back in the days before my condom realization changed things. (You know, the time when a friend at work suggested that I use Magnums because of my condom erection issues. [Not because he was looking at my penis and was thoroughly impressed.])

When that happened, I started carrying multiple sizes. The size options weren't in case I was feeling particularly snug-oriented on a particular evening, but because I'd experienced (unfortunately more than once) the male half of a couple not having a condom and asking my partner to go bareback. Should this occur, my kit was there to fling a condom in their direction. (This was also a time where I wasn't as discriminating with partners, something I have since rectified.)

Time passing again where my playmates don't have a good lube selection. (Or just that single bottle of generic KY from the top shelf of the Walgreens down the street.) I managed to snag some samples of Liquid Silk (my favorite lube) in those thin packets that shampoo samples come in. Combining several packets of Liquid Silk (for hand jobs and PIV [penis in vagina]sex), a packet of Maximus (thicker gel-based lube for anal play, but only one packet, since that wasn't an all the time thing), a handful of standard sized condoms, a handful of magnums, all crammed into one of those zippered pouches that come with Western Digital portable hard drives.

With few changes (the addition of polyisoprene condoms after a potential play partner's latex allergy got in the way of the fun time we'd been planning [which, as an aside, makes me again suggest that YOU be responsible for anything that you absolutely need, or have alternatives for anything you can't use that's a standard. {I'm not saying the woman should bring the condoms, I'm saying that EVERYBODY should ALWAYS have the stuff they need. Hence the kit.}]) this was my kit for quite a while.

My shift to strengthened barriers happened all at once. (And yes, was largely influenced by reading the words ANTIBIOTIC RESISTANT GONORRHEA OF THE THROAT for the first time.) Previously gloves and dental dams were more of a “playing doctor” fetish night (gloves), or a curiosity for that weird thing that the we were sposeda use but nobody did (dams). When I decided to move down that road, I moved in full. The kit ballooned with different condoms (flavored now) and flavored lube samples. Dental dams in multiple sizes and flavors, gloves both latex and nitrile, also in multiple sizes.

Everything is covered.

So What's In Your Kit?

Here's the complete contents of my current kit, which after finishing the above text, I opened and dumped on a towel on my bed to catalog. This is what shows up on every date with Cooper.

(incidentally, every caption links to the product, so you can, you know, support our efforts and shit)

6 dental dams of varying flavors

6 Sheer Dental Dams (Strawberry, Vanilla, & Wildberry)

So that's my kit. Go and build yours!

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About Author

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About Cooper Cooper S. Beckett is the co-founder and host of Life on the Swingset: The Podcast since 2010, author of swinging & polyamory novels A Life Less Monogamous and Approaching The Swingularity, and memoir My Life on the Swingset: Adventures in Swinging & Polyamory. He teaches and speaks on swinging, polyamory, pegging, play parties, and coloring outside the boundaries of your sexuality. He is a graphic & web designer, photographer, and voice over artist, has been a guest expert on Dan Savage’s Savage Lovecast, & is the announcer of Tristan Taormino’s radio show Sex Out Loud. He is currently working on two instructional non-fiction books, one about beginning non-monogamy, and another about pegging.

5 Comments

  1. Avatar

    Ooh! I’ve heard so much about it… to finally see it is an honour! Hehe.

    Also reminds me a little of my survival kit – the little wash bag in which are all the things I need if I end up somewhere other than home for the night: toothbrush, deodorant, condoms… etc. – but I think you may have just inspired me to get a specific safer sex kit together as well…

  2. Avatar
    Gnosisseeker on

    I am so glad that you put your kit online to give us an idea of what is within. I know you have spoke of it for a long while and having it laid out makes it much easier to create your own.

    The links are very handy as well. I know where I am at I have not see the female condom on any shelves to purchase.

    Question: are there any brands of these items that should be avoided? I have heard/read of differing opinion on this, just looking for your own opinion on this topic and why.

  3. Avatar

    There are all sorts of brands to be avoided for all these products, except the female condom, cuz there’s only that one.

    I’m getting some recommendations from Melissa at The Lucky Bloke on some better lube options, so I’ll likely update this soon.

  4. Avatar

    I listened to a Sex Nerd Sandra podcast about lubricants that answered sooooo many questions but I’m having trouble finding it to link it to you. Anyone? How can you find a link to a specific sex nerd sandra episode? The one I’m thinking of was very early in her podcasting and it explained all the kinds and recommendations and situations to avoid. It was excellent.

    • Avatar
      Gnosisseeker on

      Seattle Poly Chick,

      I think I heard that podcast from Sandra and it was indeed early in her podcasting. I listen to so many different podcasts on sexual topics,that it is hard to remember where and from whom.

      I have most of those saved on DVD and I need to look back at them and see if I can locate.

      I guess that is what happens when I am a researcher on things and try to take it all in, which I think most just ooze out.

      I have been studying sexual topics in general for 10 years and I am amazed at times at what I will find. When you think you got it figured out something comes along to change it. Then again the whole seeking is so much fun.

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