I will admit something to my readers. I am a nerd. It seems a little less painful writing here on a sheet of paper for all to see, but there is a long history associated with it of seeking acceptance for who I am. It is only recently that I have begun to own my nerdiness, even to embrace it, as the person I am, and to no longer feel shame about it. (I highly recommend Charlie Glickman’s Swingset podcast on shame. It’s not always easy to listen to, there are hard ideas presented throughout. )
I was invited recently to a new house party, just getting off the ground, and quite a long way from my home. The host is a younger man, and particular about the people/body shapes he wanted to attend. He was not interested in older people or heavier set people, and said he would be particularly choosy about who would attend. One friend of mine, a very hot BBW who hosts her own party, was offended and let him know just what she thought about his criteria. She was upset, and I sent her a message, giving her support, since I knew she was hurt.
Here is where I show a few more of my flaws. I am not always consistent, and occasionally I myself do not know what I am going to do from one moment to the next. I threw my hat in the ring asking to attend. Now, I really did not think I would make the cut. The median age of those attending was a lot closer to 24 than my 44. Also, even though I do exercise several times a week, I would not call myself buff, fit might even be a little stretch. So no one was more surprised than me when I received a questionnaire for potential play, “what are your limits, what are your kinks, hetero or Bi, etc.” I answered honestly, and I made the cut but I discreetly did not tell my other friend I was going
After a long drive, I arrived at the house and met the host. He had said he had quite a few cancellations and a few flakes. He did introduce me to Hope, a lovely young girl, and said more people would be arriving later. A few more single males and a couple arrived, but the party was going to be small. We headed upstairs for some spanking play to start.
One of the reasons my love and I started in non-monogamy was because I am not all that kinky. But I have now participated in enough kink that I can top or bottom, depending on the person. Hope is a domme through and through, and not afraid to use significant force on her subs. She LOVED smacking the single guys, over underwear, or on bare flesh (I usually go commando). I took my beating with a few “Yellow” calls as the pain level increased. I called for a break, and people started getting naked. It was shortly after that I brought out the toy.
Thanks to advice from my Swingset hosts, I bit the bullet and purchased an Njoy Eleven. My god, this thing is gorgeous! It is huge and heavy and my love’s first reaction when she saw it was, “Don’t even think about putting that thing near my pussy!” So I was excited when people wanted to test drive my new toy. Hope started with it, and after a while I licked her petite pussy while gently rubbing her insides with it. She started going down on another guy and the orgy commenced. She had her first DP and her first airtight, and I was glad to have listened to the Swingset DP episodes. I said not to worry when it didn’t work at first. “This is hard… the advanced class of group sex”
We took a break and began talking naked in the other room. Now the other men at the party were both young and fit. Some were amateur fighters and talked about injuries they had suffered… broken bones, cracked skulls and other sexy things (ironic font here). Hope and I talked about other subjects. She was finishing her college education (she was only 21) and we talked about literature and film. I told her I prefer Dostoyevsky to Tolstoy, and we shared a love for Dante. She was also an Archer fan (on FX channel) and together we determined what the name of the Njoy Eleven would be….Duchess! She spoke three languages fluently (I am no linguist) and was as smart and funny as anyone I have met.
She was leaving the area in a matter of weeks, which is probably a good thing, because I might have fallen in love. (I have been spending too much time with poly people; I need to fall in love less at swinger events.) Her body was an exquisite temple like I have never before known and we headed back to the beds for round two. One of the other guys was fucking her, and I was kissing her lips softly and squeezing her breasts when she says to me “It’s like I have died and gone to sex heaven….Paradisio!” I replied without missing a beat,”…then that would make you Beatrice.” She smiled, getting the joke and then she yelled out, startling both of us “I love how I have found someone nerdier than me!!!” I thought the other guy was going to lose his erection. Then I started gently caressing her thighs and feet, and she said to me “You are so soft, with the stroking and touching. It’s like being with a girl…” then she stopped and almost startled, worried about how I would take that,”…but in a good way.” I smiled, beamed really, and told her that she was fine, everything was fine.
For a party that almost wasn’t, and from a woman whom I wouldn’t, couldn’t even imagine being with, I had another extraordinary experience. Of all the people there, she found me interesting. For me, this has been a huge self-esteem boost, and encourages me to keep on going the way I am. Being who I am as I am, and letting those who are attracted come. When I die, and my life flashes before my eyes, I would very much like a rewind on this one.
