Review: Freestyle:W by OhMiBod

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freestyle-wBefore I delve into my thoughts about OhMiBod’s Freestyle:W vibrating massager, let’s take care of a little business. The Don’ts for this particular toy. This is not a waterproof toy, so be careful not to submerge it or get water in the charging port while cleaning it. Also, because this is a silicone toy, it should never be used with silicone lube.

Next, let’s get the technical stuff out-of-the-way…

The package includes:

  • The vibrator
  • A wireless transmitter (for “Music Mode”)
  • A wall-to-mini-USB charging cord (with international adapters)
  • A white satin “privacy pouch”

The toy itself is 8 ¾” inches long with a 1 ⅛” diameter. The transmitter is approximately a third of the length and slightly thinner. It comes with seven pre-programmed patterns plus a “music mode” and an iPod/iPhone app.

First of all, it has the same good news/bad news issue for all rechargeable toys. Rechargeability is theoretically amazing and can be great. Not having to worry about having the right kind/number of batteries on hand is always a plus. But, the flip side, if the battery dies in between uses, when you go to use it the next time, it means waiting a couple of hours before you can get down to business. Being ready for sexy time with yourself or a partner only to find that you need to recharge the toy can be a pretty big buzzkill, in my book anyway.

Speaking of buzzkills, I’m sad to report that my favorite part of my experience with the Freestyle:W was the softness of the satin “privacy pouch” that comes with it. I had high hopes for sexy times when I saw the above-average-but-not-ridiculous size of the toy. Then was sadly disappointed when the awkwardness of the design of the toy made it frustrating (at best) to nearly impossible (at worst) to use with any effectiveness. It has a clit-stimulator, which isn’t positioned in a way that makes it comfortable to use for stroke play (think the bad kind of friction!). If you tried to opt to leave the vibrator still and play differently, the handle is too long to make grinding against the toy at all comfortable. On top of all of that there’s the no-way-is-this-discrete sound level.

This, of course, assumes that you can actually get the toy inside you in any kind of reasonable manner. The surface of the silicone used on the insertable portion of the toy is, for lack of a better word, tacky. Not in a “those shoes don’t go with that dress” kind of way, but in a “not quite sticky, but not quite smooth” way. This had other unpleasant results, which I’ll mention in a minute. But, it made trying to use the toy internally a pain (and not the good kind). I rarely, if ever, have problems being wet enough. Naturally, that made the need to use lube with this toy more hassle than I wanted. When I had to use more lube than I would for nearly any other situation, I was severely turned off.

On top of being hard to get in, it’s a lint magnet. I’ve never had a toy collect lint so easily, especially living in a satin pouch which is virtually lint-free. It’s tacky enough that most of the time when you try to remove it from the “privacy pouch”, it pulls the inside of the pouch out with it. After giving up on trying to make it work internally, I tried using it externally a couple of times to see if I could get off with it that way. I ended up having to wash it not just after playing, but before and during. Every. Single. Time. I’m not a germaphobe, but even just thinking about how quickly it collected things that I wouldn’t want to put on/in/near my body makes me want to say “Ewww”.

I should mention that the pre-programmed settings and the option to use your iPod/iPhone to control the pattern of vibrations seem like nice features. But, given the general awkwardness and difficulty of using the toy even in a basic mode, they seem like only glimmers of good in a sea full of awful. Personally, I would pass on the OhMiBod’s Freestyle:W vibrating massager and opt for something else.

Full Disclosure: We did not purchase this product, it was sent to us specifically for review. Our policy is to, regardless of how we acquired a product, review it fairly and openly. No writer for Life On The Swingset will ever deliberately mislead our readers into believing that a product is good because of anything we received from the company. We are open and honest, and cannot be bought or bribed. If we love a product, we'll tell you, if we don't, BELIEVE us, we'll tell you that too. End disclaimer.

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Lina is an open hearted, open minded Midwestern girl. She’s spent most of her life doing traditional things in non-traditional ways, so it was no surprise when she stumbled across polyamory and found it fit. In the few years since, she’s happily joined a poly family, found a community of like-minded people, and been exploring the depths and boundaries of sex positivity and ethical non-monogamy.

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