Swinging Local: Ultimate Fantasy or Worst Nightmare, Part II


Swinging Local: Ultimate Fantasy or Worst Nightmare, Part IIAs discussed in our previous blog, Mr. Doubleplay and I discovered that one of the hottest couples in town is in the lifestyle. The couple has known about our habits for two years since we shared photos with them on the local website. I agreed to have coffee with the female hottie of this couple and we much anticipated this meeting.

We could have talked for hours. But we had to whisper as we were in a busy café of a local supermarket. We traded stories, worries, jokes. Our meeting went well enough that we suggested that the guys have beers.

Next, all four of us met for sushi the following week. The atmosphere among us at the sushi house was electric. Lots of flirtation and hints were dropped as we got to know one another. Truly this couple was one of the hottest we had ever encountered. I apparently once had brushed off the husband after a sporting event. I am quite sure that I avoided the conversation because he is so hot. I often have trouble knowing the line of flirtation and conversation in vanilla settings. I apologized, much belatedly.

I’d like to say that the story has a smashingly happy ending. But not so fast. We have two major issues preventing the climax that we might all be hoping for…

First, I am a bit hesitant to play witty because I want them to remain friends. Since we usually play far from home, friendship is not usually an issue. We have never had lifestyle friends live near us before. We long for a local couple with whom we could be more fully ourselves on a regular basis—not with an endgame in mind, but for the long term. We also are not interested in a long-term relationship with another couple either. So playing with them could get complicated. And yet they are so incredibly hot, I don’t think we can help ourselves.

That brings us to the possibility of negotiating playtime. The problem is that our rules appear to be incompatible with their rules. She only plays with guys. Even more important, she is unwilling for her husband to play with women at all. They have a history surrounding his very active past. He was a bit of a small-time celebrity—enough so to have groupies, underwear mailed to him, stalkers, and so on. The Mrs. is not trusting of women near her husband. Their form of playtime is that she heads off with a single guy and videotapes the encounter to share with husband later.

We play on the other side of the spectrum. We only play as a team. I love to play with girls. I love watching my husband with a woman. The one thing that makes me uncomfortable is the thought of my husband with a woman apart from me. It makes me feel queasy inside.

Mr. D. and I considered potential scenarios that could work. Rule number one—her husband and I cannot be in a room together for playtime. Rule number two—I do not want my husband to play alone. So we decided to proposition the Mrs. this week. We suggested that she play with us, and I would primarily serve the role of videographer. She said she would think about it. In the meantime, we will all have dinner together again on Tuesday.



Mrs. Doubleplay is 40-something mom living in the middle of America with kids, a career, and pretty house in the suburbs. She’s active in her local church, coaches the kids’ soccer games, and happens to have a secret life as a swinger. Married to her high school sweetheart, Mr. Doubleplay, the couple dipped their toes in the lifestyle for a couple of years but then dropped off the radar to have kids. They rejoined the lifestyle in 2005 and haven’t looked back. They have been soft swap from the start but are working their way toward greater forms of adventure as we meet hot couples on lifestyle vacations, swinger clubs, and online websites.

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