You've made the choice to check out the swinging lifestyle as a single! It may seem exciting, but mysterious and daunting at the same time. Here are basic steps to get started meeting couples online and in person.
Online websites for swingers serve two important purposes. First, they allow you to introduce yourself to your local swing community. Secondly, they will provide you information about clubs and events in your area and local personalities. Creating an online profile is a good first step toward meeting couples.
Step 1: Find a Website
There are dozens of swinger websites. Many are regional so it may take a little work to find the best ones for your area. If you know of a swing club in your area you can check their website to see what sites they link with. Kasidie is a world-wide site. Clicking the banner here on the Swingset website provides you with a special free trial. Swinglifestyle, Swingerzonecentral, and Swingersdateclub are other popular sites.
Most sites offer a free trial. You can sign up with limited capabilities for a set time to see if the site will work for you. Check to see how many couples are in your area. Are the profiles filled in with photos? If there is a last log-in listed, have people in your area been on the site recently?
Step 2: Create a Profile
Once you find a site that seems to be active in your area you should create a profile. Your online profile is an advertisement for you! Put your best foot forward. Since you've already spent time considering why you want to swing, you are in a good position to write your profile. You can refer back to my first article Being a Sexual Special Guest Star. Simply write down the answers to the five questions I presented in the article and you'll have text for your profile that expresses your unique desires and attributes. It's important to be positive in your profile. Tell the reader what you are looking for, not what you want to avoid. You can also write about your past experiences and outside interests. Be sure to spell check, use proper grammar and punctuation.
Photos are a very important part of an online profile. You main profile picture is your first impression. Use a camera with a timer or have a friend take some nice photos of you. You can be fully clothed or wearing lingerie (ladies), jeans without a shirt, swim trunks or a towel around your waist (men). You can crop out your face or take a picture that doesn't show your face. Do not use a close up of your cock or an OB/GYN shot as your main profile picture. Do not use a picture of you eating a Renaissance Fair turkey leg, licking a cake knife or holding the deer you just shot. (These are all photos I have seen on swinger profiles and they are not appealing to me or anyone I know.) Just use common sense and present yourself in the best light.
Swinger sites allow you to have public and private photo galleries. You can put photos that show your face or photos with nudity in a private gallery and only open them to people you are interested in meeting. You do not have to have nude photos online, but you should have a face picture so couples can determine if there is an initial attraction and recognize you when you meet. Use current photos on your profile. If your picture is 10 years old and 100lbs lighter than you are currently, everyone will be disappointed when you meet. Smile in at least one of your face pictures! You want to look like a fun, positive individual.
Step 3: Find Your Swing Community
Now that your profile is complete you are ready to look for fun! Most swinger sites have online party groups, club event listings and special interest groups. Join groups that appeal to you and look for events in your area. Remember the ongoing theme, “Be positive!” When you post on group message boards or RSVP lists be upbeat and kind with your words.
Many sites also offer forum groups or message boards. This is a good way to get yourself noticed. Always be positive and upbeat on forums. Ask questions or give your opinions, and people will be interested in getting to know you better.
Step 4: Introduce Yourself to Couples
You can also contact couples by emailing them on the website. Like your profile, your initial email will give the couple a first impression of you. Couples receive many, many emails from singles so you should do your best to make yours stand out. You shouldn't send out a form letter to everyone you are interested in, but you can start with a basic template and customize it to each couple you are contacting. First, read the couple's profile. If they are not looking for singles, move on to the next profile. As you read the profile think about what appeals to you about that particular couple and what you have in common.
Your email should be polite, grammatically correct and interesting. Write to the couple, not the husband or the wife individually. Introduce yourself with your first name. Tell them you read their profile and what you think you have in common. You can compliment their text or photos, but don't be overly graphic in your comments. When writing, you are more likely to get a response if you ask them a question. You might ask if they have been to a particular club, if they have any tips on swinging in your local area or a question about them not covered in their profile. Let the couple know you have opened your face pictures and invite them to write back if they are interested.
Do not send one line emails like, “She's sexy!” or “Wanna %&*$?” This will not get you any positive attention. Do not ask for pictures of them without sharing your pictures. Be respectful of yourself and the couple.
It is fine to contact anyone you are interested in provided they are interested in meeting singles. Many people will not reply, or reply, “No thanks.” Accept a non-response or a no thanks gracefully and move on. Eventually, you will find a couple who is interested in meeting! Understand that many couples are busy or may need to arrange babysitters, so be patient in setting up a meeting.
Some sites also offer online instant messaging or chat. When you chat start by introducing yourself and asking who you are speaking with. Ask them questions about themselves and their experiences, tell them about yourself. Don't whine that you are bored or horny. Don't ask them to naked web-cam or start out asking graphic sexual questions. Let the couple lead the way in talking about sexy topics.
Step 5: Have Fun
Hopefully this article has given you valuable advice you can use to find couples online. Creating a great swing profile and making friends virtually are stepping stones to setting up real life meetings with couples. At the same time, use websites to find events like Meet and Greets or Swing Club Parties to step out into your local community. In my next installment I'll discuss going to swing events as a single and meeting couples in person for the first time.