Close Menu
    Facebook X (Twitter) Instagram
    • Home
    • About
    • Contact
    • Terms of Use
    • Help Wanted
    • Advertising
    • Patreon
    • Merch
    RSS Instagram Facebook X (Twitter) YouTube
    Life on the Swingset
    • Podcasts
      1. Life on the Swingset: The Podcast
        • Episodes
        • Subscribe on iTunes
        • Subscribe on Google Play
        • Feed
        • Stitcher.com
      2. Intellectual Foreplay
        • Episodes
        • Subscribe on iTunes
        • Subscribe on Google Play
        • Feed
      3. Multiamory
        • Episodes
        • Feed
        • Subscribe on iTunes
        • Subscribe on Stitcher
      4. By the Bi
        • Episodes
        • Subscribe on iTunes
        • Stitcher.com
      5. On The Wet Coast
        • Episodes
      6. Sex Ed a Go Go
        • Episodes
        • Subscribe on iTunes
        • Feed
      Featured
      November 26, 20240

      #405 – Squicks or Turn-Ons?

      Recent
      November 26, 2024

      #405 – Squicks or Turn-Ons?

      November 17, 2024

      #403 – User Manual, or Dungeon Crawl? What’s Your Preference?

      November 1, 2024

      #402 – More Than Two, Second Edition – With Andrea Zanin and Eve Rickert

    • Blogs
      1. Cooper’s Blog
      2. Ginger & The Professor
      3. Technogeisha’s Blog
      4. On The Wetcoast
      5. Ms. Scarlet Blogs
      6. Swimming Against The Stream
      Featured
      February 28, 20211

      SS 389: Nerdy Banter with Simone and Malcolm – The Pragmatist’s Guide to Sexuality

      Recent
      February 28, 2021

      SS 389: Nerdy Banter with Simone and Malcolm – The Pragmatist’s Guide to Sexuality

      January 31, 2021

      SS 388: The Power of Witness in Relationship Therapy with Catherine

      November 23, 2020

      SS 387: Euretic Consent with Shawn Coleman and Kevin Patterson

    • Articles
      • Advice
    • Desire ’21
    • Reviews
      1. Product Reviews
      2. Book Reviews
      3. Media Reviews
      4. Site Reviews
      Featured
      8.7
      May 20, 20170

      Review: G-Spot Lollipops – Travel Edition

      Recent
      October 15, 2019

      Review: DiGiT, by Hot Octopuss

      December 19, 2018

      Review: Inside Out, by Womanizer

      10.0
      October 13, 2018

      Review: Blush Novelties Avant D2 and Avant D4

    • Support
      • Patreon
      • Merchandise
      • Tip Jar
    • Store
      • Swingset Stickers
      • Shirts
      • Cooper’s Books
    Life on the Swingset
    Polysaturation: Practicality vs Idealism - Polyamory Filling Your Life

    Polysaturation: Practicality vs Idealism – Polyamory Filling Your Life

    2
    By Star on July 24, 2012 Blogs, My Constellation

    Polysaturation: Practicality vs Idealism - Polyamory Filling Your LifeOne of the biggest issues I've been struggling with in my current relationship dynamic is the idea of “polysaturation.” For those who don't know, polysaturation is the point in polyamory at which a person is in so many relationships that they don't have the time and energy to devote to any more. It is maximum relationship capacity.

    The reason this is a struggle for me is because on a practical level, I understand polysaturation, and feel like I'm getting there in my own life; however, I'm fiercely resistant to the idea on a personal emotional level. Here's the rub: one of the beauties of non-monogamy, for me, is that I am given the opportunity to take my relationship with every person to its natural conclusion. I am not held by artificial boundaries on where a relationship can go. (Well, not ones imposed by me, anyway. I'm always going to respect boundaries that others have in place.) But, if I meet someone who I have a deep abiding connection with, I can explore that connection to whatever extent it's capable of reaching. I don't have to limit my attachment to one person based on my attachment to others.

    Ok, here's a counter-example to make my rambling less vague: if I'm in a sexually monogamous relationship, I am limited in my opportunities for interaction with other people by the boundaries of that relationship. If I meet someone with whom I have strong sexual chemistry, the artificially imposed – though voluntary – boundary of monogamy prevents me from exploring the possibilities of a sexual relationship with this person.

    That's just an example, but it gets the idea across. While it's true that there is only so much time in a day, or a week, or my life, I hate the idea that once I decide to put that “polysaturated” label on myself, I'm cut off from the possibility of getting into a relationship with someone else who can enrich my life. I want all the love and experience and interpersonal connection that I can jam into my lifetime, because that's what living is for. At the same time, I don't want to make a commitment to someone who will end in disappointment because there is only so much of me that I can offer in the real physical world. Sadly, I can't actually be in more than one place at a time. And I certainly don't want to have to lose time with the partners I have already – they take up most of my free time as-is and I still don't feel like I see them enough.

    One of my friends was recently having this issue in her own relationships. She had a husband and a new boyfriend, and on top of that is a small-business owner which is the commitment equivalent of about three spouses. When she met a guy that she had chemistry with, she told herself – and him – that she didn't have time in her life for another relationship, and that she just wanted to build a friendship with him. Well, unsurprisingly, they did end up dating and are doing extremely well together. What she told me when I talked to her about it was that if you're really into someone, you make time. Ok, yes, that sounds delightful and romantic, but she also almost never sleeps and he works overnights at his job so his availability starts at 7AM. I, on the other hand, am a barista who works nights in a relationship with three people who have grown-up jobs and tend to go to bed about an hour after I get off work at night. If I met God's Gift to Women his/herself, s/he better work the same schedule as I do or, sorry, I just don't have time. I have three free evenings a week and three partners – that's not hard math.

    So, in a nutshell, this is a problem. Fortunately this is not a pressing problem. I haven't actually met this person that will throw my dynamic into crisis, which means all my concerns are totally hypothetical at this point. However, I'm a plan-ahead kind of girl, and I like to have some idea of what on earth I would or should do with myself if I did meet someone new and wonderful. I suppose crossing that bridge if/when I come to it, while unappetizing, is the only real plan.

    Tweet6
    Share
    Reddit
    Buffer
    Pin
    Email
    6 Shares
    Share. Facebook Twitter Pinterest LinkedIn Tumblr Email
    Previous ArticleSS 82: Geeksexuality – Making Porn, Bisexual Males, Bush, & Quantum Physics
    Next Article Communication Will Save (or ruin?) Your Relationship
    Star

    Star is a 20-something kinky, poly, pansexual, educated, married lady who just likes to talk. About everything. All the time. She can be reached at starontheswingset@gmail.com.

    Related Posts

    #402 – More Than Two, Second Edition – With Andrea Zanin and Eve Rickert

    SS 398: Swingset as a Place… with Princess Vi

    SS 397: …and at least one amorous bird on this resort. – Swingset Takes Desire 2022, Part 2

    2 Comments

    1. EvilLaughGuy on July 24, 2012 5:04 pm

      Time management, and it’s cousin, priorities, are an issue in any relationship.
      Google calendar helps, but it won’t put more hours in a day.

      Reply
      • Cooper on August 2, 2012 1:25 am

        Now if google calendar could figure out how to do that…they’d REALLY be onto something.

        Reply
    Leave A Reply Cancel Reply

    The Latest Life on the Swingset
    Become a Patron!
    Kasidie.com... Plays Well With Others.

    Copyright &copy 2010-2019 – Life on the Swingset – All Rights Reserved

    Copyright &copy 2010-2019 - Life on the Swingset - All Rights Reserved

    Type above and press Enter to search. Press Esc to cancel.