Realistic BDSM – Real Life Intrudes on Kink

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Realistic BDSM - When Life Intrudes on KinkWhen people talk BDSM, they think about leather clad women in needle point stilettos bearing floggers that dangle down about their calves. But this is reality, kids, and it is a fair statement that while tying up your boss to get him to sit down and listen to your ideas or gagging a chatty typing pool member so you can get some work done are great fantasies to make you smile when you can’t take any more, the reality is that a 24/7 power exchange is simply not possible for many people to maintain.

Let’s face it, it is a busy world out there; you have kids, jobs, school, dinners, papers to write and whatever else you have going on. How practical is it to have to call your dominant and ask for permission to make a simple decision? For a dominant, how practical is it to have to make simple choices for your submissives every single step of every single day? It just isn’t. But still I have some practical ideas that you can throw into your day to let your kinky partner know you love and miss that electrical spark between you in the bedroom.

For the Dominant: Many times a submissive will ask, “How do I get my partner into BDSM when he/she is so busy with other things?” First of all, a submissive should be the biggest definition of help mate to their dominant, so if you see that your dominant is too busy to just throw together a kinky scene for the two of you, then help by taking some of the stress off their plate. A few things to try are; running small errands like grocery shopping, bill paying, picking up dry cleaning, having the car serviced, or going to the post office. This extra time will allow your dominant to relax, take a breath and be more kink friendly in mind and spirit.

Here is the thing about being a dominant; it can be a lot of pressure constantly having to worry if you are fulfilling the needs of your submissive, meeting the everyday demands of your work and home life, and holding up to family expectations and so on. Many times, submissives feel as if the burden of maintaining the kink factor falls on the dominant-that the dominant should be the one to initiate the whole thing. Well, kids, that’s really not very fair, nor is it very true. Nothing says that the submissive still feels the same, still wants to submit, and is still dedicated enough to submit as taking the initiative to do so.

How about arranging a sitter for the night and simply worship your dominant with affection and low stress activities; run a hot bath and hand bathe them, dry them and massage them with warm oil or lotion to help relax tensed muscles. This also allows you, as the submissive, to openly explore your dominants body, to listen to them talk about what stresses them and to show your concern for them and how they feel. Trust me when I tell you that there is not a great deal more romantic than being petted and listened to when you feel like the world is against you. Plus, you work all those knots out, you both get oily, you both get hot, you both get wet…well..I think you see where this is heading.

For the submissive: Seldom have I seen a sub happier than when their dominant has them curled up in their lap, curled up at their feet, or kneeling by their side as they are being petted and talked softly to. Simple ideas that may pacify the simple needs of the day-to-day submissive are sending sexy, yet practical emails, text messages or IM’s though out the day that offer tantalizing tasks and to do lists for that evening. (A text on a lunch hour ordering a submissive to spend just five minutes masturbating in the bathroom or an email reminding the submissive of a service that was particularly well done, sexual or memorable can really feed into the mental stimulation that many subs need.)

Another great way to pamper and play is to soak your sub in a long hot bath. Take a few minutes sponge washing them, wash their hair, comb it and dry them. Then make them crawl around the house naked while you flog their bare ass!

The point is, kids, you know your mate, you know how they like things, and you know what they like. A few simple steps every day keep that spark alive, even if it is nothing more than a whispered threat of saw dust on the floor fucking once the kids have gone to bed. Walk past them and grab a wrist, pull them to you and snarl something hot and nasty against their ear, grab a hip and press him to the wall while you growl low in your throat as you hover your teeth and lips over their pulse, be the beast, let them be the prey, and as always…Keep it smokin’ hot.

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Southern grown, Eastern Seaboard born, I am a crafter of words, painter of minds, and seductive succubus. Hell bound, sarcasm bent, cool, confident and super ninja awesome.

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