Pedestrian Polyamory 43: Listener Mail: Phantom STI’s, Dick Soup, and Friskie Kreplits


Pedestrians!  The super happy and functional Gavin and Shira are back, and are opening up their mail bags once again.  Gavin refuses to have Pedestrian Affairs, while Shira talks about the emotional roller coaster that is Gavin Katz.  Listener mail topics this week include: WHEN TO TELL A POTENTIAL PARTNER THAT YOU ARE POLY (yes, we got it again), how to successfully make ‘me time’ when having multiple relationships, STI talks, Pedestrian Postcards, and how to deal with the thought that your partner doesn’t love you as much as another.  All this and so much more (ok, just a bit more) in this weeks episode.  Gavin! Shira! Polyamory! Podcast! Play!



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  1. As an HSV-2+ woman, I have to say that it is outdated to call HSV-2 “genital herpes.” HSV-1 is increasingly showing up on genitals. In fact, 30% or more of new genital herpes infections are caused by HSV-1.

    Determining which type lives where in the body is only possible if there are active sores. People with HSV-1 are infecting people’s genitals left and right because of oral sex, and yet the stigma is against HSV-2.

    Your advice and reassurance to the caller who recently found out his status doesn’t fit my experience as dating as herpes positive in the poly world. I’d say that I’m rejected out of hand by a full 80% of partnered poly men when they find out my status.

    Here’s another 80% number to throw out at ya — 80-85% of people who have HSV-2 don’t know it.

    I’d bet ya a million fuckin’ dollars that the vast majority of poly folks who’d reject me or your caller who THINK that they are herpes negative have never been tested. The medical standard of care only suggests testing for herpes if the patient is “high-risk,” (basically, gay).

    I had to out myself when I changed doctors and insist on a herpes test. Lo and behold — positive!

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