Swinger Advice – We Like To Watch At Clubs

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swinging, polyamory, & non-monogamy adviceWe here at The Swingset are always happy to help with any questions or concerns you have, please don’t hesitate to ask!

Q. My wife and I have been to a club once, and she got to experience her first girl-girl experience.  I thought it was incredible and I never realized how amazing it would be to see her with another person.  I'm very excited to go back, but here's the problem. I'm not really interested in playing with anyone else at this point.  I'd rather watch my wife.  But in our talks after the experience, she said the same thing to me.  She feels that her experience was sub-par, and she'd rather watch me.

What do you do, when we both want to watch, but no one wants to play with anyone else?   Thanks in Advance, and thank you for all your hard work on the podcast.

Adam

A. So, I think what you're asking is what happens when both of you wants to watch the other person with someone else, but neither of you wants to be that person with someone else.

This poses the obvious problem that if neither of you are “performing” then neither of you can be watching the performance. My recommendation is you acclimate yourself to the environment at bit more to see if that changes your comfort levels at all.

Head over to your local club with the intention to fuck each other and no one else. Go into one of the busiest playrooms and fuck each other, glancing over at those sexy bodies writhing around you. Fill yourselves with visual stimulation all over the place. Why this step? Well, this will give you the voyeurism that you both seem to crave as a bit of a filler until you feel like maybe you're ready to branch out.

The only way you'll both be able to watch each other with other people is for both of you to be with other people. My suggestion would be once you've acclimated more to the swing club environment, branch out a bit and try a swap. Because you'll both be with other people and watching each other with other people at the same time.

Another possible solution to the “watching with other people” question involves our old friends roleplaying and home-made porn. Fuck each other in disguise and tape it. Then watch it. It's not the real thing, no, but could be pretty hot none-the less.

I hope my rambling helps a little bit.

Coop

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About Cooper Cooper S. Beckett is the co-founder and host of Life on the Swingset: The Podcast since 2010, author of swinging & polyamory novels A Life Less Monogamous and Approaching The Swingularity, and memoir My Life on the Swingset: Adventures in Swinging & Polyamory. He teaches and speaks on swinging, polyamory, pegging, play parties, and coloring outside the boundaries of your sexuality. He is a graphic & web designer, photographer, and voice over artist, has been a guest expert on Dan Savage’s Savage Lovecast, & is the announcer of Tristan Taormino’s radio show Sex Out Loud. He is currently working on two instructional non-fiction books, one about beginning non-monogamy, and another about pegging.

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