The Political Closet

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Disclaimer: What follows is SPECULATION and should in no way be regarded as fact…or truth, even.  Wild theories, these. And certainly not malicious.

I had an interesting thought recently. And I'm not sure really what brought it on, but it was one of those SNAP – SHARP FOCUS moments you get occasionally. Well, I get anyway. An, Aha! It all makes sense! sort of thing.

What, you ask, the hell are you talking about, Cooper?

Well, the thought was that it was possible that the Clintons (Bill and Hillary) have an open marriage. Let that sink in a moment. You may say duh, as though you know something, or in the vulgar “yeah they have an open marriage because Bill won't let the door close” sort of way, but have you ever really stopped to think about their marriage? I mean, since Lewinskygate and the Starr report.

Let's look at the facts. (And I use the term losely since absolutely NO research went into this blog post. Which is the way I think blogging should be, who needs FACTS when you can get by with “facts.” Works for Wikipedia.) It's no secret that Bill has difficulty keeping his pants on. And this was a trend all the way through his political career, from the early days as governor at the tail end of the swinging 70s, on the campaign trail, all the way up to a mousy intern dressed in blue.  Hillary knows all about his affairs. Has to, really. The media told her. Many many times. And in interview after interview the woman is reasoned and calm, never angry, never disdainful. Always attacking those presenting the affair as being against her husband or politically motivated.  I know many would argue that this is the political mask one has to wear, but not anymore she doesn't.

It's not like Bill is the secret to her success anymore.  If she wanted to, she could've easily left him long ago, would probably have received a shitload of support from all sorts of women who're victims of a cheating husband. But she didn't.

Which really leaves two options when you get right down to the nitty gritty:

1. Hillary Clinton is an incredibly forgiving woman with the patience of a saint, who despite decades of cheating with (in the interest of fairness) dozens of women on her husband's part, loves him enough to look the other way and forgive every single time, even after it was politically necessary to do so.

or

2. The Clintons, early on, realizing perhaps limited sexual compatibility often characteristic of people each driven with their own lives and ambitions and sharing very limited alone time together, and seeing their potential to be an awe inspiringly ferocious political duo, decided to allow each other dalliances.  And perhaps Hillary was just better at keeping hers quiet.

So, okay, there are probably a few more shades of gray options in there, but think about it. Occam's Razor would suggest that the first option, and all the variances on that theme are simply too complicated to be true.

I'll fully admit that I have ABSOLUTELY no idea if the Clintons are actually in an open marriage. But it's not something they could readily talk about if they were, now is it? And do you REALLY believe political mastermind (I don't like her, but there's no denying that she's extremely sharp) Hillary Clinton thinks he's only done it those few times it's become a scandal? Or that Bill (also very sharp) is so bad at the affair game that he got caught each time he did it? Or that, unlike almost every political scandal involving infidelity, they wouldn't split up after the second, or the third, or the twelfth.

Or, is it more likely that a power focused couple, undeniably honed in the sexual cauldron of the sixties, with different libidos, agreed to openness?

Just asking…

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About Cooper Cooper S. Beckett is the co-founder and host of Life on the Swingset: The Podcast since 2010, author of swinging & polyamory novels A Life Less Monogamous and Approaching The Swingularity, and memoir My Life on the Swingset: Adventures in Swinging & Polyamory. He teaches and speaks on swinging, polyamory, pegging, play parties, and coloring outside the boundaries of your sexuality. He is a graphic & web designer, photographer, and voice over artist, has been a guest expert on Dan Savage’s Savage Lovecast, & is the announcer of Tristan Taormino’s radio show Sex Out Loud. He is currently working on two instructional non-fiction books, one about beginning non-monogamy, and another about pegging.

4 Comments

  1. While I have thought for a long time that this is the most likely case, I do tend to wonder whether it's a matter of an "informed consent" openness or if it falls into the realm of the "don't ask, don't tell" variety. I'd think the latter is more likely, but considering that at least socially, they are both quite nontraditional in their publicly stated values, either is quite possible.

    I am very curious how it would affect the public's view of nonmonogamy were the Clintons to come out and admit such an arrangement; whether it would lead to a slight lean towards willingness to accept it as a relationship option (because of the respect both have among large segments of the American populace) or rather to more public revulsion at the notion (likely out of jealousy).

    • Well, unfortunately, while I think it's very possible they're in an open marriage, I also think that they're living with that shame of the open marriage…so they'd never admit it.

  2. It wouldn't be the first time…
    .

    I would bet those in power feel entitled to make their own set of rules to live by. A different "normal". Hollywood (America's Royalty) too.

    When Obama received his Nobel prize, Will Smith and his wife were in the audience stroking eachother's neck. I believe they were guests of their their friends in the Whitehouse. The Smith's strong, red-hot and ~open~ marriage is one of the worst kept secrets in Hollywood.

    Hmmm I wonder how they all celebrated afterwards?

    Just askin? ha ha !!

    Keep it up Cooper. You and the gang are doing wonders for our own marriage.

    Justin.

    • Personally I love the idea of what the Obamas and the Smiths may have gotten up to in the Presidential Bedroom. I like to think that Will & Jada showed Barack and Michelle their First Couple impression

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