I have gotten less concerned about what people perceive about me. Just the other day I was out to lunch with some male (this is an important detail) friends from work, who I had recently told about me being a swinger. That isn’t really part of the story, but it shows that they are in now in the smallish group of people who know about that. Anyways, while out to lunch some how the topic of having sex with men came up. Which inevitably led to the question, “How much money would you need to have sex with a man?” Two of them dodged the question and the other decided there was not enough money to undo the trauma that would inevitably be caused to him. His attitude kind of surprised me. He is a very pro gay rights guy. He has even gone so far as to donate money to the GSA. Now, I suppose he is entitled to his opinion, but really trauma…
Now, on to my answer to this question. I simply stated, “There are too many variables to give an accurate number.” This drew all kinds of looks from them. Obviously, being the technical folks that they are they wanted to know what the said variables were and if I had a spreadsheet. Obviously no, I don’t have a spreadsheet. I explained to them that Brad Pitt would have to pay me less than the random homophobe guy at work (I am pretty sure he has to be gay and deep in the closet). Now, I don’t really have a thing for Mr. Pitt, but I am pretty sure he would get a free ride. I didn’t voice this to my colleagues however. I stuck with lots of variables: pitching vs. catching, how they look, cleanliness, etc.
At some point they started referring to me as Bicurious Jack, a nickname that I had somehow picked up at the bar after work a while back. I neither confirmed nor denied anything. I just simply let it ride. It doesn’t offend me. If anything it almost amuses me because they are trying to get a jab in, a poor jab, and it just doesn’t phase me. I let them think whatever they want because I don’t really care. I am comfortable with who I am. Now, they have never point-blank asked me if I was bi. If they did I probably wouldn’t lie. Part of me thinks they don’t ask because they already know the answer.
Someday I will just come out with it to everyone. I really have no reason to come out as bi. I could easily live the rest of my life married to my wife and no one would be wiser, but hiding, that isn’t really how I roll. The easiest way to change a persons perspective on anything is to show them they know someone is that way. So, yes, I will tell them all. When I announce it is a different issue as it would likely lead to me also announcing that I have a non-monogamous marriage. Someday I will show everyone the rabbit hole I went down and explain to them the wonders I found inside… someday.
