Should You Use Condoms For Blowjobs – Barriers & Oral Sex #coop500

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Should You Use Condoms For Blowjobs - Barriers & Oral Sex #coop500“So, what is your thought on couples, or people in general for that matter that abide by safe sex via proper use of condoms for PIV intercourse but then go ahead with bareback oral (fellatio or cunnilingus) and may even swallow with fellatio? This seems a very common paradigm yet seems so horribly hypocritical. Are people really just not thinking this through fully?” the email read, and I leaped to answer it.

Okay, so first, confession time. Up until about two years ago, I was one of these swingers. 100% condom usage for penetrative sex (penis in vagina, penis in anus) but not for blow jobs. (The OTHER penetrative sex.) Is this a big confession? Not really. Am I alone in this practice? I’d say the vast majority of the world (behold as Coop makes a SWEEPING GENERALIZATION with his BARE HANDS!) practices what they term “safe sex” this way.

Are they wrong? Hypocrites? Are they calling down the wrath of some Elder God to punish them for their misdeeds?

No.

‘Cuz Cthulhu cares not for cunnilingus.

Anyway. So what happened? Well, used to be I’d wait around the week after playtime for the telltale signs of one or more STIs to start showing up. Often feeling those telltale signs because I’m a MAJOR hypochondriac and could feel absolutely anything WebMD says I might feel. This was with partners who were careful and tested, and I had no reason to believe that they might have anything. But I was certain I had caught something.

Eventually this feeling was so prevalent, I started to beg off of play dates.

I was asked very recently “Doesn’t oral sex suck with condoms and dental dams?”

To which I confidently replied. “A little.”

“What? Coop! You’re blowing the sex positive cover here!” you say, assuring me that I should tow the company line that says it’s not different at all.

But it is different. Without question. Does a blowjob while wearing a condom suck a little bit? (Like that turn of phrase?) To wit, does a condom reduce the amount of AWESOME inherent in a blowjob. Yeah, a little. Doesn’t wearing a condom reduce the awesome during penetrative (see above) sex? Yeah, a little. Does a dental dam detract from the glory that is pussy licking? Yeah, for both parties, a little.

Does it keep you from getting diseases that may LITERALLY KILL YOU? Yeah, a lot. (And here’s my obligatory disclaimer that condoms and dental dams only prevent skin-to-skin infections like HPV and HSV for the areas that are covered by them.)

Then I answered the above question (about oral sex sucking with condoms and dental dams) by laying down one of the massive Glyde Dental Dams (my personal favorite) atop her pussy and going to town. Having had my cock sucked in a condom, it does cut down on the sensation slightly, but no more than it cuts down on the sensation during penetration.

And I know I don’t have to say the words (Anti-Biotic Resistant Gonorrhea) to remind you that a slight reduction in sensation can be a HUGE boost in survivability.

But maybe I’m just a wacko.

And my friend who experienced my tongue behind a barrier? “It’s distracting at first, and a little bizarre, but with the right combination of skill and enthusiasm you forget it’s there… “

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About Author

About Cooper
Cooper S. Beckett is the co-founder and host of Life on the Swingset: The Podcast since 2010, author of swinging & polyamory novels A Life Less Monogamous and Approaching The Swingularity, and memoir My Life on the Swingset: Adventures in Swinging & Polyamory. He teaches and speaks on swinging, polyamory, pegging, play parties, and coloring outside the boundaries of your sexuality. He is a graphic & web designer, photographer, and voice over artist, has been a guest expert on Dan Savage’s Savage Lovecast, & is the announcer of Tristan Taormino’s radio show Sex Out Loud. He is currently working on two instructional non-fiction books, one about beginning non-monogamy, and another about pegging.

2 Comments

  1. Thanks Cooper, for answering my question. It seemed like such a common sense answer to a very common situation. Though I suspect, as hypocritical as the behavior may be, it is a pattern that will persist for a while yet.

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