For Molly: Unconventional Threesome Dynamics

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For Molly: Unconventional Threesome DynamicsBeing, as I am, not a fully fledged unicorn, I decided – in a rather lighthearted moment – that I am actually a ‘fawn’. That is to say, if the ideal unicorn is young, willing, bisexual, and female, I fail in that I am pretty damn straight – or at least only attracted to male-presenting people – and therefore perhaps I do not quite deserve complete unicorn status. But there you have it: I’m just not that into girls.

So how is it that I have ended up in a relationship with a male/female couple for almost a year now.

Aside from the fact that the female half of this couple is an avid voyeur, there is – I believe – something a little more to it.

It’s something like comradeship. A sense of us girls being in it together. Lying on the bed naked, giggling, feminine beside his male form, we have something in common. Something to make us smile at one another. In fact, even away from the bedroom, we can be seen stealing furtive smiles at one another when certain moments are remembered. Then of course, there is our mutual attraction to him! Which he seems to find amusing and perplexing in equal measure… but I digress. It’s not that either of us need a partner in crime, but it is lovely to see her see him see me see her… and so on.

Deeper still – and here are where the waters get a little muddied. I couldn’t for the life of me tell you exactly how this is, but she and I undoubtedly share intimacy. Huddled almost on the floor at a rather indulgent Moroccan restaurant in the heart of Atlanta, we found ourselves a little out of earshot of the rest of the group, and exchanged a few words on this odd little truth. At first we thought perhaps it was all about him – our attraction to him, the way we both interact with him, the dynamic of being submissives (-of-a-sort) to his ruling dominance – but quickly we realised just how much the two of us share without him. We work together often, we talk, we are great friends – and while he is involved in a great deal of that, sometimes he just isn’t. And there is intimacy in those moments as well.

We have a kind of friendship I truly do not have with many people. Friendship, comradeship, intimacy. And – yes, I’m going to go even further – despite the fact that our sexual interactions are always through and with him, despite the fact that we barely even touch each other, let alone do more, we still share something sexually intimate as well. Perhaps it’s mutual voyeurism; perhaps it’s commonalities in sexuality, in kinks. I really couldn’t tell you. It feels almost intangible.

But here’s what I take from it: when we restrict the ideas of sexuality and intimacy to actual physical touch, to “relationships” in a generic sense of the word, we are in danger of losing the importance of something… else. I can’t quite put my finger on it, but it is powerful and important, and cherished.

And this is all a somewhat round-about, but happily shared, way of telling you that I may not be a unicorn in the general (and true?) sense of the word, and I may not share what to an outsider’s view would be a real sexual relationship with her… but for me, there is more in this relationship than could possibly ever meet the eye. So it works just fine for us, thank you very much.

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Harper Eliot is a writer and podcaster whose work mainly centers around eroticism and social observation. You can find an archive of work, and links to all her other projects, on her website Harper Eliot. Harper lives in London, but rarely sees her own house, spending most of her time on public transport, listening to podcasts and tweeting too much. Her vices include cigarettes, lubricant, Earl Grey tea, opera, nail polish, and pinwheels.

3 Comments

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    I think ‘cherished’ is the perfect word for it… and thank you for writing this. You did a brilliant job of putting words to what we have.
    Oh and I asked him about this “Which he seems to find amusing and perplexing in equal measure”

    His answer was that it is exactly how he feels… strange man!

    Thank you, for being you, and being part of our lives and… ‘Great Britain’ (sorry to other readers, a joke only Harper will get)

    Mollyxxx

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