Archive for category: Blogs

The focal point of fun at Desire is happy hour at the hot tub. It is a great time to meet new couples who have recently arrived. With about 40 people drinking and soaking, it is easy to get to know others.

How upfront is upfront, and what is just rubbing it in people’s faces? It’s a dilemma I haven’t really faced before. How and when do you go about informing polyamorous partners about other partners. As a swinger, the thing people most want to know is if you play safe. If you take precaution. If you get to know people first. Rarely does the subject of numbers come up. Rarely do you feel compelled to disclose when and how many people you’ve been with recently. Rarely does it come up that you’re going to a sex club or sex party this [...]

One issue that everyone whom engages in alternative or counter-culture lifestyles will eventually have to face and come to terms with is whether or not to be open about their lifestyle, to what level, and to whom. It does not matter if you are gay, bi-sexual, non-monagamous, a fetishist, a swinger, or a polyamorist. These lifestyle choices are against the norm, and there is often a great deal of anxiety involved around the honest expression of our choices.

We joined a group of couples the other night to celebrate the birthday of a lifestyle friend of ours (whom Mr D gave quite a ride on the sex swing). We started out at dinner at a local pub with plans for dancing and then who knows what next. At the table we had five couples. We sat next to a biker couple who we had chatted with online but never met, and across from the birthday couple. The two couples on the end included our Sweet Young Thing couple (see previous blogs). They were meeting the birthday girl for [...]

One skill I have definitely learned through my journey of non-monogamy is communication. It just doesn’t work unless everyone can communicate what they need and what they fear. This should be obvious, but sometimes it isn’t.

Once upon a time, in my introductory post, I mentioned that all of the members of my constellation – which, for those keeping track, is currently standing at 9 people – are in d/s (dominant/submissive) relationships with our respective partners. For the most part, the structure has been pretty straightforward – the males of the group are dominant, the females submissive. I am the monkey-wrench thrown in the works: the lone switch. For the vanillas in the audience, a switch is a person who does not take on one consistent role in BDSM dynamics. Kink educator Midori has called switches [...]

I have a pretty active open lifestyle. Not as active as the peak activity time of, say, a year and a half ago, but quite active and satisfying. We have a few couples we see regularly, some singles to see independently, and now…well, this poly experiment, as I begin polyamorous dating. It’s going quite well, in fact. Due to an incredibly lackluster dating life in high school, I suppose I went into the new poly experiment (wherein Marilyn and I can and do date independently, and openly have “relationships”) with that same feeling of, well, apprehension that I approached all [...]

I’ve actually been asked the question a lot lately. The why do a podcast, why do a website question. Why did I start it? Etc. Etc. And there are many factors that contributed, to be sure, but foremost was the fact that, as a writer by nature and a blogger, I realized that my blogging stopped dead when Marilyn and I became swingers. It just ended. Not a card, not a note, just tumbleweeds blowin’ by blog-death. And it sure as hell wasn’t because I no longer had anything to write about. There was oodles. All these new emotions and [...]

We are learning more about the differences between full and soft swap. A big one seems to be the numbers game. We have always liked group play. As a soft swap couple, give us a six-some  and we are happily like kids in a candy store sucking and licking and touching all around. Six is really ideal in soft swap. Enough to fit on one bed but tons of combinations. The other night we were out partying with two couples. Both are full swap. I had unfinished business with the guy so I had my sights set on him. We [...]

Very few people know that I am bisexual, only a few close friends, not even all of my close friends. I really have given up on hiding it. I recently posted this picture of Neville Longbottom and the Harry Potter boys on a gaming forum that a group of friends and I use. Totally agree with it. No one questioned my posting it. The ladies agreed and the men seemed to mostly ignore it. I have gotten less concerned about what people perceive about me. Just the other day I was out to lunch with some male (this is an [...]