It seems as though I have been inundated with exposure to all things female orgasm lately: personal conversations, news articles, books, research, podcasts. . . I have gleaned a number of titillating and novel insights from these various sources, but first my personal perspective.
Any and all orgasms are good orgasms. Interestingly, the history of the researched female orgasm includes a debate, initiated by Freud, about which orgasm is the best orgasm ably alluded to most recently here by Domina Doll and in the presentation in question, this Dodson and Ross video.
It seems to me that this debate about orgasms is a lot like a debate about the comparative value of varietals of chocolate. We certainly all have our preferences among the options, but isn’t the bottom line that chocolate is fantastic?
Unfortunately, among the sexually less-enlightened, many women must be convinced that orgasms have a place in their lives at all. This is particularly true for the many partnered women who have handed over their sexuality to their male partners for his sole pleasure. Sad, but true. Those women hold a special place in my heart. They are the women I feel most passionately about sharing the perspective that orgasms have value in their lives and how to get to that place where they own their sexuality.
So, with that said, I encourage support for experiencing any and all orgasms in any way and for any reason you get to “O.” The following is some “juicy” orgasmic trivia:
Orgasmic Fun Fact #1: Orgasms have life prolonging potential.
One way to share the message for the widest possible audience to hear it is to point to the fact that research has shown that the mere experience of orgasms prolongs your life! Is there anyone who can argue against that? Granted the research is not broad (yet), but any research that shows that something wildly pleasurable and utterly safe prolongs my life is research to follow in my book.
Orgasmic Fun Fact #2: Some research has shown the wealthier the male partner, the more orgasms to expect.
Researchers at Newcastle University who are studying the utility of the female orgasm have found a connection between wealth of a male partner and the frequency of orgasm for their female partners. According to this study, the ability to make a living and an orgasm are connected. They maintain it is an evolutionary adaptation for women to seek “high-quality” mates with financial success and the ability to give orgasms as indicators of quality. Clearly, I need to create a seminar for men entitled: “The Way to Financial Success is Through Her Clitoris” or “How to Make Your First G-Spot Million.”
Orgasmic Fun Fact #3: Orgasms can and do happen during childbirth.
The taboo connection between sex and childbirth has always puzzled me. I mean, really, how did most of us end up getting here in the first place? Likely after 40 weeks or so after our moms got it on. When that time comes, women are culturally conditioned to believe that childbirth is the most excruciating experience they will ever go through. However, as many birth attendants will tell you, when women are allowed to experience natural childbirth (which is becoming more rare in the U.S.) orgasms can and do happen. So there it is. It isn’t my preferred route to the big O, but for those of you that can make it happen, I say “hells yeah, sister!”
Orgasmic Fun Fact #4: Sexologists can ascertain whether a woman orgasms vaginally by how she walks.
A study done by researchers in Scotland and Belgium showed that trained sexologists could tell 80% of the time whether a woman experienced vaginal orgasms. The correlation is connected to a longer, fluid, more confident stride. Now the reality is that their are layers of complex connection here that I could take hours to dive into from a sexological perspective. But I’ll save that for another time. I will second Suzie Heumann’s prescription that women who are interested in broadening their orgasmic repertoire to include the vaginal orgasm should include fun activities that increase their pelvic flexibility and movement. And plenty of Kegels can only help.
Orgasmic Fun Fact #5: We have so much to learn about the female orgasm.
I am supportive of all the research we can possibly do on the female orgasm. Every single woman is capable of and deserves to have as many orgasms as she can! In the meantime, read The Science of Orgasm to brush up on your scientific knowledge to date.
Orgasmic Fun Fact #6: There are infinite ways to reach orgasm. Try them all!
Now is the experiential part of the presentation. Go have fun!