Cooper & Marilyn Begin: Our First Date as Swingers

Our first date lasted four and a half hours, in a booth in a low traffic area of TGI Fridays.  I remember the build-up to it far more than the date itself.  We both changed several times, trying to figure out what to wear, how do swingers dress again? And trying desperately to remember how to go on a first date.

Marilyn and I assured each other that we were, in fact, looking good, repeating what was rapidly becoming a mantra: “We can do this…”   Deep breaths all around.  Here was the deep end stretching in front of us.  No matter how many times we held hands on the drive over and repeated those words, we knew that this was insane.

“Well, there’s always swinging…” those words were floated only a week prior to this terrifying prospect of meeting people, of going on a date, of going on a date with really for real swingers.  So casual.  An off hand remark meant as almost a joke response to the stress of our rising mutual wanderlust.  We’d discussed for an hour over dinner those four words and what they meant.  ”Well, there’s always swinging…”  How they could change things.  How they WOULD change EVERYTHING.

But even when we took it from hypothetical to practice that night after viewing the wonderful short film: “The Lifestyle and You” we didn’t expect that we’d be on our first swing date in the space of a week, that we’d be telling ourselves “We can do this” as we stood in the vestibule at Hooters waiting for our semi-blind date to arrive.

We’d only seen vague photos of them.  The kind of thing that are all style and no substance.  The kind of photos you show to people before you know who they really are.  The kind you show to those “not certified as real” folks on the Lifestyle Lounge website.  This was the first couple we really seemed to have something in common with.  The age difference wasn’t huge.  We’d said hi and flirted and exchanged these basic hesitant photos.  We thought, “Yeah, this could be fun, we should get together sometime.”

So when they asked whether we could meet that coming weekend, and sometime became this time, we, flustered, couldn’t think on our feet quick enough to come up with an excuse not to go and wound up ACTUALLY MAKING A DATE.  Actually making a date with swingers.  Real swingers.  Been doing this for a while and all.  So we stood, waiting for our vague dates to arrive at Hooters.  (“Now WAIT a minute,” you say, “Cooper, you can’t even keep your damned venues straight.  At the top of this post you said Fridays, and now you’ve changed it to Hooters.  Well, which is it?”)  I’ll tell you, ornery reader.  We made our date for Hooters, but it was unnaturally busy at 9pm on a Sunday night and once our dates arrived we had to change venues, now will you just let me tell the story my damned way?   Thank you!

She arrived first, beautiful, long curly hair, huge smile on her face, must have known us from the deer in headlights look in our eyes, told us that he was parking the car and gave us both a gentle but warm hug, and a light kiss on the lips.  This is the moment that stands out for me.  We knew her name, we’d seen her body, but this was the first time we’d seen her face, and as nervous nellies we were, she kissed us both, gentle, non threatening.  The first touch of lips other than Marilyn’s in quite a while for me.  For Marilyn herself, well, it was the first time her lips touched another woman’s.

As I said before, the date itself is a fair blur.  I know the facts, we moved the date over to Fridays after it became immediately apparent that we wouldn’t be able to really TALK at Hooters, it lasted four and a half hours, we ordered drinks and a Jack Daniels chicken appetizer.  And we sat across that table being flirted with, an experience that we’d almost forgotten.  Early on, perhaps sensing our unease, he leaned us in and said something that would stick with us as the perfect thing to say to scared newbies.  (One we’ve used ourselves in fact)  ”Let’s make this a little easier on you both.  Do we want to fuck you?  Yes.  Do we want to be your friends even if we don’t get to fuck you?  Yes.”  And all the desperation to impress, to prove to them that we were indeed that nebulous idea of “cool” that we aspired to be on this date, just flittered away.

Marilyn was, once upon a time, before our adventures began, a very quiet girl, and this didn’t change significantly during this first date, but there was a spark there, one that I noticed.  One that showed me that while this decision we’re making isn’t traditional and would probably be frowned upon by many…maybe just maybe we need this.

As we left the restaurant that night, we walked out together.  There was a goodnight kiss for both of us from her, a kiss for Marilyn from him, a solid handshake for me.  ”See, not so scary,” he told me.  ”You let us know…”

“We will,” I told him.

“It can change your life,” she said to us.

“Promise?” we asked back.