SS 264: Couples’ Privilege & the Notion of the Third


As couples, so often we’re looking for the third. The unicorn usually. They’re rare, seemingly unobtainable, but when we find them it’s just so magical. Except that we’re often boxing that unicorn in, that single person who now has to put up with our pre-established couples dynamic and the fact that if we ghosted it’d be as a pair. Yep, tonight we’re talking about couples privilege and what that means for the third so many of us are seeking.

On this episode of Life on the Swingset: The Podcast, we discuss how being a couple changes the dynamic when looking for a unicorn or third, and how often that third can be unconsciously slotted into a specific position in the relationship, expected to be something specific, rather than themselves.

We discuss how the dynamic of threesomes and foursomes, and the way conflict is handled, can mean a lot to how the relationship appears valued.

We discuss Netflix’s new show Easy, which features an impressive threesome episode late in its run.

We spent a lot of time talking about sleeping arrangements beyond the couple, and how we handle it. Both Cooper and Dylan tend to get hot very quickly.

And we discuss how to find a threesome and make sure the relationships are healthy, banking on that old chestnut communication.


Today’s episode of Life on the Swingset is sponsored by Better Than the Hand, a website that aims to deconstruct stigma and toxicity surrounding male sexuality and masturbation through articles, blogs, toy reviews, and an online store. We’re also sponsored by Castle Megastore, a one stop shop with everything you could want, from wand vibrators, to harnesses, to lube and condoms, to a complete suite of BDSM equipment including sex furniture. If you use the promo code SWINGSET at check out you can save 20% on your order.


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We have THREE rooms left for our 2016 trip to Desire! Sign up now! November 5th through 12th, 2016!

Leave us a comment on this post or at or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464). Find Cooper on Twitter @CooperSBeckett, Dylan on Twitter @DylanTheThomas, and Ginger on twitter @GingerNTheProf.

You can Cooper’s novel about swinging, A Life Less Monogamous, at or his memoir My Life on the Swingset: Adventures in Swinging & Polyamory at as an ebook, paperback, or audiobook and if you buy them from his sites, use promo code SWINGSET to save 10%!


Today’s podcast featured music by:

Puppet – To Be Alive, feat. Aaron Richards

Slips & Slurs x Mikha! – WiFi Tears



About Author

A podcast about swinging, polyamory, open relationships, and "the lifestyle" from the trenches. A diverse group tackles many issues involved with non-monogamy and what it means to be a swinger or polyamorous from the point of view of educating and illuminating what, for many, is a confusing journey to start on. Subscribe on iTunes Subscribe on Stitcher Subscribe via RSS

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