Ask A Swinger: Special Profile Consideration

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Hey everybody, Cooper here, jumping in for Tyler who’s off conquering the world (yet again) this week. He’ll be back next time, but for now, I’m gonna take care of this time’s “Ask A Swinger” question.

It has taken me a while to get around to this, but hopefully you might know the answer to an interesting challenge we have.

We have been in the lifestyle for a few years now, playing when we can. We have one guy we play with regularly, the others have not been
so ongoing. Recently, when discussing this, we identified an issue, which hopefully you can help us with.

In our couple, he is hard of hearing, verging on deaf, but can lip-read well, and does pretty well with his hearing aids (and listens to the
podcast on a cranked-up iPod *smile*). He also can speak clearly. She is more obviously deaf, and has speech that takes some definite
practice to learn. Given that, her preference is to someone who signs.

The way the various websites are set up, we have a hard time locating people who might sign, or indicating that we do. This is of course
complicated by it being a very small community, and him being high-profile in it, with a sensitive type job.

So, with all this, might you all, or your podcast and web audiences, have any suggestions for how to go about locating people in our
timezone who might fit that sort of specialty niche?

Thanks in advance!

Well guys, you pose a rather difficult question, and I hope my very limited suggestion helps. In every swinger website I’ve ever been on, you’re given the opportunity to have a “headline,” sort of a quick tag line for your profile that might help get you noticed, and might entice others to read more.

As this is something that’s very important to you in meeting people, I say you go directly for it and put deaf in your headline. The danger here of course is some people may skip right over your profile because of it. (Some people are jerks.) But the upside is, there’s a very real chance it will directly attract those you want.

As swinging is a pretty accurate microcosm representation of the general population as a whole, I’d wager there are quite a few like minded souls, or people otherwise sensitive to the special considerations you’re asking.

As for timezone, well, of course you’d be far more likely to find people if you, say…live by a major metropolitan area with a healthy swinger community than…I dunno…Butte, Montana. (Not dissin’ Butte, it’s beautiful country, and would love to meet some swingers with a ranch up there that they might invite us to…) With special restrictions and limiting the pool to draw from it makes a sometimes already difficult game of “do you like me” even that much more difficult.

Another avenue you may want to try is posting in any various swinger forum, especially those on your lifestyle website of choice. Say specifically what you said here, ask them for advice, and my guess is you’re going to see responses from many people who either know swingers who sign, or are themselves.

Hope that helps!

I’ll also turn this one over to our readers, do you have any additional advice for our friends? Do you want to meet them? Comment below to let us know!

If you have a question you’d like to “Ask A Swinger” use the form below!

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About Author

Cooper S. Beckett is a relationship coach specializing in non-monogamy, author of  My Life on the Swingset: Adventures in Swinging & Polyamory & A Life Less Monogamous, and the co-founder of Life on the Swingset & host of its swinging & polyamory podcast. He speaks and teaches classes on pegging, swinging, polyamory, play parties, and non-monogamy. He is a graphic & web designer, photographer, and voice over artist, has been a guest expert on Dan Savage’s Savage Lovecast, & is the announcer of Tristan Taormino's radio show Sex Out Loud. He is currently working on his next novel: Approaching The Swingularity.

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