Supporting “The Beautiful Kind”

Over at one of my favorite blogs, The Beautiful Kind, some shit is going down.

See, she recently lost her job because of her blog, and then was summarily ditched by the NY Sex Blogger Calendar because of this controversy. (Seriously?) Her post: “I Am Not A Sex Blogger” really reached me, so I wanted to link to it here, as well as post the response I had to this issue.

Far be it for me to suggest I am like you, or a kin to you. Your blog is far above what I am doing so far, but I wanted to say that your post here reached me.

Why should we live in fear that something so basic and earthy as sexual expression could end our careers, could careen us off the intended path, whatever our intended path may be.

As the guardian of a swinger website, my tip toe is even more dangerous, but I do it, likely for the same reason you do this. We’ve long ago forgotten how NOT to express ourselves, how NOT to be heard, how NOT to speak our minds.

We’ve come to points in our existence where we decided that, fuck ‘em if they can’t take a joke, but I’m gonna be who I’m gonna be.

Labels are an illusion…Sex Blogger, Swinger. Especially in the sexually open community there’s a certain desperation to label everything and categorize, so we can simply feel so desperately normal.

When aren’t none of us normal…

And that’s just the way we like it. “We are the music makers, and we are the dreamers of dreams…” and the music we make is raunchy and raw, and wet, and soft, and beautiful, and rich; and the dreams we dream are the ones that keep those normals up at night with questions like “why do I want my wife to peg me?”

But we are unafraid.

Even though we, in our little communities of sexual openness pretend we are oh so much better than everybody else, that we are the enlightened few, we are no different. Just as judgemental, just as prejudiced, just as willing to throw someone else under the bus to prove to the “real world” that we know how to play ball.

I too have gotten heat for continuing to write for Eden Fantasys. And I’ve roundly ignored it, as we should. Because it’s very tempting to become the exact mob we’ve fancied ourselves fighting against, isn’t it? To kowtow to those in the position to throw us a few scraps down here in the web’s red light district.

To think that the NY Sex Blogger Calendar is mainstream enough to be offended by your scandal just means it’s one less thing I have to purchase.

We are supposed to be better than all this.

So understand, when I compare myself to you, it’s only because I believe you’re fighting the good fight, being unafraid and unashamed to be simply YOU, and fuck all the rest of them. Believe me, you are making a difference, and one day, perhaps not so far away, we’ll all be less like the THEM we’ve pretended we aren’t, and more like each other.

A real community.

One who doesn’t need extra divisions. One who can simply be called open.

My god I’m a pretentious loudmouth, ain’t I?

We all must stand together, if ever there will be an opportunity to push back against this type of bigotry that’s only just getting started. We, the sexually…um…diverse, we weren’t born the way we are, we choose to be the way we are. We choose to pursue pleasure, we choose to live hedonistically, and that makes them hate us possibly even more than their old homosexual villains. We are the debauched masses they lie awake at night in terror of, horrified that we may overrun their world and corrupt their children, their spouses.

Stand together, one and all.

TBK, you have the Swingset’s full support.