Review: Tenga Egg Masturbator
I’m not easily surprised anymore. Generally, if a toy looks like it’ll work for me, it tends to work for me. Not that I let my prejudgement effect my testing at all. But it’s often rather easy to judge a toy by its appearance as cheap looking toys tend to perform cheaply, and impressive looking toys…well, you get the drift.
But the Tenga Egg Masturbator, well, this was something I definitely shouldn’t have judged by its appearance.
Not that there’s anything wrong with its appearance at all. In fact, the Tenga Egg is very interesting. It comes packaged in a plastic egg, not unlike the kind you get at Easter. (And Easter bunny, if you’re listening, skip the chocolate next year, I want a basket full of these!) Inside the egg is a masturbator sleeve…but it’s different.
Most sleeves are long and thin with holes at both ends, sorta like those weird wormy water things you used to think “maybe I can fuck this…” as a teenager. The Tenga Egg is a different beast altogether. It’s a white blob of TPE* with a hole at one end. Let me try to describe it better…it’s like an uninflated baloon of silicone with a textured inside.
I pulled it out of the egg and stared at it for a minute. One would think after years of being a teenager, trying to figure out ways to fuck household things, I could handle figuring out how to fuck a product designed for just that, but I just sorta stared at it a while, then googled “How to use a Tenga Egg” and found a helpful video that gave me the AHA! moment.
So, I poured in the included lube (that had no English information on the packaging, those wacky Japanese…) slid the head of my cock into the hole and slid it down.
And WOW. I mean seriously, I expected nothing from this. There isn’t a sleeve on earth I’ve been impressed with. The only things that have come close to my hand are expensive, like the Fleshlight. Hell, even Hannah Harper’s Boob Pussy was pretty good, but that was almost $200!
And here’s this little egg thing that immediatley on the downstroke I realize is something special. The real sell here? It’s no different than using my own hand, if my hand was covered in AWESOME! I mean I’ve been trying to use different strokes (to continue my fight against Masturbation Death Grip [or MDG - the more you know]) and it often takes me a good long while with the new stroke.
At less than $10, this is priced at least the same if not less than most of the crappy jelly sleeves out there, and it’s better than every damned one of them; not the least of reasons, because it encloses the head, it makes cleanup REALLY easy.
It IS quite thin silicone, so I have no idea how it’ll stand up to repeated use, so you may just have to buy the half dozen of them in a little egg crate.
Adorable…and SURPRISINGLY impressive!
*TPE – Thermo-Plastic Elastomer Slightly porous, so not for sharing unless used with a condom, phthalate free though.
Full Disclosure: We did not purchase this product, it was sent to us specifically for review. Our policy is to, regardless of how we acquired a product, review it fairly and openly. No writer for Life On The Swingset will ever deliberately mislead our readers into believing that a product is good because of anything we received from the company. We are open and honest, and cannot be bought or bribed. If we love a product, we’ll tell you, if we don’t, BELIEVE us, we’ll tell you that too. End disclaimer.