Pedestrian Polyamory 38: Voicemails! Stroking Gavin’s Enormous C*ck
Pedestrian Polyamory is back again! Gavin and Shira finally have enough voicemails to do a show! Gavin’s affairs take us on a journey on a date with three girls (at the same time, our Gav sure is growing up!), meanwhile Shira is dealing with jealousy (!!). The voice mail inbox is a myriad of Pedestrians, those dealing with insecurity, those showing Gavin some love, those dealing with impending fear of cohabitation, those who stroke Gavin’s enormous cock (ego), those calling us cause they’re drunk, and those who have a preference to Gavin.
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at 1:45 pm
Oh what a New Year treat!
After last months Gavin light episode (and by the way what a cliffhanger that was guys , you got us soooooooooo worried regarding the podcast, I mean Mr T from Earth Prime is sort of fine but the dynamic is totally different!
Hope the truce holds up but can we please find a new name for Mr T that sticks!
From Transient to Transcendent then back to Transient who is this man?
Does he pay rent, who washes up and just how big is your house to fit 5?
Love you both lots and lots ‘Happy Not Making Shit Weird Year’
ps
FUCKING LOVE that Gavin is dating!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
but what about the mysterious 4th woman?
Didn’t you have two dates?
Oh and Shira all that hot tub talk is really creeping me out over at that ‘inferior’ podcast…
Saying that episode 100 was such an AWESOME anniversary confessional!
Nothing will ever be the same again!
You are such a beautiful couple all the lovex
at 1:34 am
Finally a door is cracked open on the DADT thing. This is a concept that I have heard so many podcasters/authors say is a “bad thing”, well except Dan Savage in certain circumstances, but I wanted to add a litte voice to the plus side on it. I know you guys did touch a bit on the “if it really works for the person who doesnt want to know, leave it alone” aspect but I think that part of the equasion is never expressed loudly enough, so here goes.
I am one of those DADT people, in general. Not that I dont want to tell… I generally tell way too much all the time, LOL. Its that most of the time, I dont want to know, and I dont want to know because somethings just make me too upset, or jealous, and frankly I dont want to be THAT person. I want to be the wife that says “Go honey and have a good time” and mean it, and not be stressing about whats actually happening, let alone have to hear about it later. So basically I just say NO to knowing…..
This is not a “la la la pretending its not happening” thing. Its a “I can be an irrational Latina who was taught jealousy is a sign of love, and so I need to keep my crazy in check” kind of thing. I dont think Im alone in that. Some of us rationally, with our minds, really want our partners to experience what they want to experience, and honestly to our bones encourage that. However when things then happen, and the heart then decides to weigh in, we know its going to be drama internally if we hear about it, so why put ourselves through it, is how I feel.
Of course I core truth my jealousy though, and it really does always come back to exactly what Shira was feeling about Gavins dbl date – having your mate share/give something to someone else that you feel you arent getting, or getting enough of yourself. No one can be frubbly in a deficit. I remember feeling immensely disrespected once watching my hubby pet another womans hair, repeatedly. When I parsed it out, it stemmed from the fact that he NEVER did that for me, though he had heard me always say how much I loved it, that my parents used to comfort me that way, etc. So in my hearts mind he never petted me was first strike, and that then equated to he wasnt comforting/caring for me that way, so he damned sure shouldnt be doing it for her. Its irrational & silly broken down on paper this way… but in my heart and head it was horrific and painful. So now, even though he absolutely does care for me and even pet me knowing I need that, its kind of a weird trigger – so why would I want him to tell me he’s done that to someone and just torture myself with it?
Actually though, I should probably amend DADT to be “Dont Tell Unless I Ask” because sometimes I do want know at least the jist of things, but then when he comes to some part of the night I feel is a hot spot, Ill tell him “Ok I dont need to know that part, what about…..” or something like that. I redirect him away from whatever I know is going to be some hiccup of mine. But sometimes I dont want to hear ANY of it. I mean he doesnt have to tell me about his night out bowling with the guys, so why do I need to hear about him taking his rope kitten to dinner for her birthday?
And frankly if he forced the info on me anyway, as the caller did on her hubby, Id be pissed and upset too and that would be on HIM to deal with. Consent right… I have to consent to you giving me information that I know might cause me undue and unnecessary distress. If you decide you just HAVE to unburden yourself to soothe your own mind, how is that respectful of my boundaries? Its a breach to me.
Some of us really do know our own limits and shortcomings, and know how to be the people we want to be despite them. So for that percentage of us who really do know our own minds and arent just hiding our heads (though admittedly its probably a small % of us) I just wanted to advocate a tiny bit on the DADT policies that DO work in non-monogamy and why I think so.
And Shira, frankly Im kind of glad you got a moment’s jealousy about Gavin’s dancing with the other women, because though I dont want to perpetuate the whole jealousy = love BS… I do think that feeling jealousy can show you how much you value some aspect of your partner or something you have together. Jealousy for me provides me a good lesson about what I need to appreciate more about my partner, and what Ive got to speak up and ask for when I want it or lack it. And sometimes we need those reminders, especially in loooong term relationships like mine at almost 28yrs together, 25 married
at 3:46 am
This wonderful podcast keeps creating such useful terms like “special spoon.” My partners and I have been using it quite often over the last week. Thanks!